I haven't written in ages, and so I'm feeling a little awkward and clumsy as I sit here typing and attempting to process my thoughts. This blog was once the online holding place for all of my deepest hopes, wishes, and dreams. It's interesting for me to peruse old posts, as so much of what I wrote about was my desire to meet my life partner.
And then I did.
Writing was an excellent way for me to manage and articulate my worries about the future. However, over time this outlet didn't prove to be enough, and last fall I made the difficult but necessary decision to seek treatment for my endocrine-related mood swings. I've since discovered that much of the inspiration previously driving my writing was simply anxiety, and since my anxiety has now for the most part been quelled, I no longer feel the need to write.
The other purpose for my writing was so that I could anonymously share the secret parts of my heart that I so desperately longed to share with a significant other. Now that I am approaching two years of being in a relationship with the love of my life, I share my secrets, visions, and longings with him. I don't need to write about the hope of finding my "person," because I found him.
With all that said, I wanted to write a detailed account of the day my now-fiancé asked me to marry him. The whole ordeal was a complete shock and I am still so impressed by the level of thought and care that went into planning--as well as the lengths he and our friends went to so that I wouldn't have any inkling as to what was going on.
Braden came into town for the weekend because one of my co-workers was getting married. His work schedule changes every week, and I was excited to learn that because he wouldn't need to work until the following Wednesday, we would be together until Tuesday morning. At my co-worker's wedding on Saturday, Braden had the opportunity to meet my other co-worker's husband. Haley and Mike are close in age to me and Braden, and Haley and I had previously discussed the possibility of doing something together as couples.
On Sunday, Braden and I went to look at wedding venues in Cambria and rehearsal dinner venues in downtown SLO. At work on Monday morning, Haley stopped by my office to ask how the rest of my weekend went. I told her that Braden and I went to look at some venues, and then I showed her some videos and photos that we took. We chatted about wedding plans and again about the possibility of getting together as a group with our partners at some point. Braden had been at my apartment that morning (or so I thought), and he came back with me to work after I returned home to eat lunch. I had student appointments that afternoon, and Braden was in and out of my office as I made phone calls.
At one point, Haley stopped by my office and suggested to both of us that we hang out with her and Mike sometime. I told her that Braden and I don't always know what weekends he will be in town, but then she proposed the idea of going out that night. Braden and I had previously made plans to see a movie and go for a drive, so when I turned to him he pointed out that we had made plans. I was thinking how great it would be to go out with another couple, and so after telling him that those other plans could happen any time, he agreed that dinner would be a good idea. Haley and I had been previously talking about the four of us eating at Big Sky Cafe in downtown SLO, and so she offered to make a reservation there. I told her that by the time I get home, change, and then walk downtown, it would likely be about 6:30PM (which worked out perfectly according to Braden's scheme). When we found out that the restaurant doesn't take reservations, Haley said she and her husband would get there early and hang out until our arrival.
After work, Braden and I returned to my apartment. It was really hot that afternoon, so I changed and put my hair up. I kept saying that I felt sticky and wanted to wash my face, so Braden kept saying I should go ahead and wash it. We finished getting ready, fed Tobin and took him out, and then left for downtown. As we were walking to the restaurant, I had my compact mirror out and was inspecting my face and telling Braden I felt ugly. He reassured me that I was beautiful.
When we arrived to the restaurant, Haley and Mike were waiting for us at the bar. My former college roommate, Rachel, was at the restaurant working that night. I greeted her and formally introduced her to my co-worker and her husband. Our group of four was seated, and we reviewed menus while chatting. Dinner was fun and relaxed, and I didn't suspect that anything out of the ordinary was going on. Once we finished, Braden suggested taking a walk around the downtown area to show them the rehearsal dinner venues we had looked at. Initially I felt a little uncomfortable asking Haley and Mike to do this, since Braden and I are planning to have an extremely small wedding, but I knew I couldn't take back Braden's suggestion at that point.
We showed two different locations to Haley and Mike, and the second left us right next to the mission. While I hadn't been thinking about it at the time, the plaza in front of the mission is where Braden and I held hands for the first time on our first date. The four of us chatted for a few minutes, and then I told Braden that I was cold and we should head back to my apartment. We said our goodbyes and parted ways. Braden wanted to run up the steps to the front of the mission quickly. On the previous evening, he had been asking me questions about its history, so I assumed he wanted to read the historical landmark placard posted near the front door. It seemed like normal Braden behavior, so I wasn't suspicious.
Once we were near the front door to the mission, I started to become a bit suspicious. Braden kept trying to strategically move my body and keep me facing certain directions. There was also a homeless man sleeping on the bench there, and Braden kept trying to push me towards the man, even though I was trying to walk around him so as not to disturb him. I made a comment about this, and Braden said he hadn't even seen the man! For an MBTI sensing type, that was uncharacteristic for him. Then Braden wanted to walk down to the creek on the opposite side of the mission plaza. Once I started to become suspicious, I think I went into shock, and the rest of what transpired that evening felt like an out-of-body experience.
Braden settled us next to the rock wall above the creek. I noticed that there was an iPhone resting on a ledge filming us. I was so caught off-guard at this point that I couldn't process what was going on or even articulate to Braden what I was thinking. He then made a comment about me not being a sensor (I'm an intuitive type), and signaled with his eyes towards something on the rock wall. When I turned, I saw a black velvet ring box. I immediately turned away and asked Braden, "Is that what I think it is?" I was marginally confused by the packaging, as the ring I picked out comes in a light blue box (though Braden had previously commented that he didn't like the packaging). He then told me there were six of them, and I turned back to observe the six boxes. Braden told me I needed to open them.
Each of the six boxes contained a note from Braden about our relationship, and each one mentioned Tobin (my first love!). Braden had me read the notes aloud, but I honestly wasn't comprehending anything that was written on any of them. About halfway through, it finally dawned on me that Braden fully understands how important Tobin is to me--and that is something I wrote about here only ten months before we met in person. When I got to the last box, I kept telling Braden I was afraid to open it. I told him I thought there was some chance I was being "punked."
After opening the sixth box, Braden was trying to turn the flashlight off on his phone, which he had turned on so I could read the notes in the boxes. I told him to just put his phone in his pocket because it was making the moment very anticlimactic! Braden then launched into a speech about our relationship, and told me that he was forgetting most of what he had planned to say because he had been sick for days about the possibility of slipping up and giving away the secret. When he finished the speech, he led me over to the top of the stairwell near the wall, and he was in full view of the iPhone camera when he knelt down. I was weeping at this point, and then he asked me to marry him! He continued to kneel there, and so I told him that he needed to put the ring on my finger. We were both shaking and nervous.
I told Braden that I had a feeling that he had ordered the ring. However, I suspected that Braden had ordered the ring at the beginning of August, and with a one-month turnaround time, the ring wouldn't get to him before the beginning of September. Clever man that he is, Braden knew that I was very aware of the timeline for the jeweler and that I checked her Etsy shop every day to check if the engagement ring and matching wedding band had been bought. He asked the designer to expedite making the ring so that it would arrive ahead of her stated turnaround time.
I kept asking Braden whose phone was filming us, and so he called the "owner of the phone" out of the bushes. I initially couldn't tell who was hiding, because the two individuals were wearing hats and concealing clothing, but then realized it was Haley and Mike! We all hugged, they looked at my ring and offered congratulations, and then we all said goodbye for the night. Once we returned to my apartment, Braden showed me the e-mail and text exchanges between him and Haley. He had been planning the whole thing for weeks, including drawing maps of the downtown area as if he were planning a military attack. When I thought he had been at my apartment that morning, Braden was actually scouting the downtown area to make sure that he was familiar with all of the important locations. Haley and Mike had done the same thing on the previous evening.
What's incredible to me is that my conversations with Braden and Haley were so normal and natural and there was no hint ever of the possibility of anything strange going on. They both did an excellent job with sticking to the plan and script, and truly delivering to me the most shocking surprise of my life. I still watch the 47-second clip every day of Braden popping the question! I'm so happy he had the foresight to film the event, as I was incapable of absorbing any details that evening.
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